i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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