I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
