eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
