he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
