The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
