Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
