Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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