i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
