No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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