Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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