TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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