I wanna passion pit in your ass
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
