For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I think my vagina is haunted
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
