Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
