i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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