Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
