it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
