I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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