I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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