dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
