I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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