Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize