I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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