i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
