it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
