its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
