So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize