He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize