Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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