Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize