Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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