i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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