shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
