my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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