So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
