she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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