I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
