my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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