i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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