I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
