dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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