...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize