This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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