I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
