Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
