There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
