is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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