Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
