I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
