ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
