I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Do vagina's smell?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
