how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
