I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
