I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
