All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
