My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
