HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
