I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
