Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
