If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My pussy is not your playground.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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