Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
