We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
