new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
