so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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