the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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