Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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