i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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