I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
