After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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