I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
