Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
