I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
