He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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