she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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