Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
