It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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