And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
